I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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