the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
