is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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