nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
