I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
