1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
