just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
