Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
