so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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