Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
