I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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