Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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