Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
