You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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