do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
