Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
