I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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