He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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