The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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