i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
