The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
