Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
