I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
