i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
