Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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