I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
