My hair reeks of homosexuality.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Randomize
