It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
