Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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