You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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