halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
