we're blogging at a bar
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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