oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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