If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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