tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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