Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think I died a long time ago.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
