i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
