fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
