fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
