Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
