why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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