how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
