he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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