I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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