It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
