he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
