we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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