6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
