if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
