drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
