i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
