I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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