I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
