my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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